This is where we post your rants, raves and thoughts which require no response on our part. Please feel free to vent. We hear you.
Dear Vanilla Pop:
Jesus I was just sitting up there minding my own business, when BAM! All of a sudden I'm doing 80 and the ground is coming up real fast. You think I could've just rolled out of that one right? No way. Not from that height.
So after about 10 minutes these horses come around and start trampling all over me. "Hey watch it!" I scream, "You're smashing my right into the cobblestones!" Then these guys in these ridiculous outfits all start trying to do some makeshift surgery on me. I gotta give 'em credit for trying, but honestly...they had no idea what they were doing.
So I'm still lying here in case anyone cares.
As you can assume by now, I've pretty much dried up into a crusty, yellow stain on the sidewalk.But don't worry about me. I'll be Yolk-ay
-Mr. Dumpty
Dying a slow, eggscruciating death.
 |
| Just before it happened |
Dear Vanilla Pop:
I really don't care if anyone knows where I live. What I can't stand is that idiotic song people sing when they ask each other if they know me.
Any chance you guys could write a new one?
Thanks.
The Muffin Man
-Drury Lane
2 comments :
Dear Sweet Mr. Dumpty,
I am so sorry to hear of your harrowing experience. You sound absolutely scrambled from the entire ordeal. Fear not courageous ovum, for help is on the way. I’ve called in two of my most amazing friends; Glenda, the Good Witch of the North and Hermione Granger of Hogwarts to swoop in and assist you with their feminine healing arts. All the king’s horses, and all the king’s men did their best I’m sure, but eh, they weren’t the right folks for the job.
These two magical mistresses will set your albumin straight in no time. While you won’t be quite the same as you were before your tragedy (no one ever is after such an event) rest in the knowledge that you’ve survived and most likely have gained some kickin' wisdom (like it’s probably best if eggs don’t hang out on walls.)
Here’s to your speedy recovery!
Do you guys get extra ca$h as P/T bouncers?
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