Q: Any tips on how to win the Powerball?

Dear Vanilla Pop: 

First off I just want to tell you how much I love your show. You guys are great.

So I remember you guys did that New Mexico Powerball commercial a few years ago (which was awesome BTW), and I'm wondering if the Powerball people possibly gave you any tips or pointers on how to win that thing.

I've been playing the Powerball for the past 4 or 5 years, and needless to say, I have yet to win any substantial amount of money, let alone the big jackpot. I'll get like 2 numbers in one game and 1 number in another if I'm lucky. Honestly...it's getting a little disheartening.

 

Aaarrrggghhhh!

Don't get me wrong- I enjoy the time spent fantasizing about what I'm going to do with all that money, like get that Bosley procedure and go to Disneyland. (Is it Disneyland or World that's in Florida?) The one in Florida is the one I'm talking about. I heard that the one in California is all rickety and vegetarian and stuff.

Anyway, every week when they draw the winning numbers, like clockwork I come up empty handed.

Here's my offer:

I will totally give you guys a million dollars from my winnings if you can help me out. I've already blown through my kids college fund and we're one meal away from eating Tuna Helper Helper. Any advice or inside information you could give me would be hugely appreciated.

P.S. I've watched your TV commercial about a hundred times to see if I could pick up any secret code or message you may have been sending out, but I haven't really seen or heard anything other than that great song.
Thanks so much!

Sincerely,
Tired of losing at Powerball

Dear TOLAP:

When we did the Powerball commercial a few years back, I actually sat down with the producer and asked him the same question. 

Lester On Set

Here's what he told me:

Apparently the trick to winning the Powerball is to pick the right numbers. It's that simple. 

It seems to me that your problem is that you are not picking the right numbers. What you need to do is stop picking the numbers you're picking, and pick the right ones. Once you do this, I guarantee that you'll be a rich man.

Here's what I want you to do. The next time you fill out a Powerball ticket, just before you're about to pick a number, stop yourself and pick a different one. Do this with each number you're about to choose for every game you play. Then go mail us that million dollar check because I smell a winner.

Please don't share this information with anyone else TOLAP. The last thing we need is a bunch of instant millionaires driving around in Hummers.

Keep believing!

Vanilla (Yeah We Did A T.V. Commercial And You Didn't) Pop!