Q: All my friends have gotten lucky at your shows. Why can't I score?

Dear Vanilla Pop:

First off, I just want to say that I love your show. You guys are great.

Here's my problem: for some reason I just can't seem to hook up at any of your gigs. It's unfathomable because there are just so many women at your shows. All of my friends have gotten lucky over the past few years, while I have gone home to the hand. I think that I'm attractive, a good conversationalist and would make a good catch. What am I doing wrong?

I hate to sound desperate but I'm desperate.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
Awash In Self Love.

Pondering my loneliness

 
DEAR AISL:

Lose the Mr. Roger's cardigan and you will find the girl. You might also want to stop posting pictures of yourself staring at the nature. While it's true that chicks dig sensitive guys, they are also sickened at the thought of us needing time to "commune." Leave that to the Buddhists & try to grow a pair.
  
Good luck!
Al & Les