Q: Should I be concerned about a restaurant messing with my food?

Dear Vanilla Pop:

First off I just wanna say that I love your show. You guys are great.

Ever since a friend of mine who used to work in the restaurant industry told me that she and the staff would do gross things to people's food if the customer was rude or just high maintenance, I find it difficult to go out to eat.

I think I'm a pretty good customer when I dine out, but still, it makes me a bit nervous that I might be eating something which has been tampered with.

Should I be concerned?

Thanks guys!

Sincerely,
Nervous about going out to eat

Dear NAGOTE:

I hear ya.

Normally when I'm in "Single" mode, I rarely go out to eat myself,  but when I find myself in "Dating" mode, it seems like I'm always springing for a night out at a restaurant. So far I've been lucky, but I've had several "situations" in restaurants which makes me weary as well.

For instance, I took this girl to this French restaurant once, and ordered something called "escargot". Ten minutes later the waiter brought me a plate of snails. SNAILS! Criminy I couldn't believe it!  I tried to think about what I could have done to upset the chef like that. I mean I was only in there for 20 minutes or so. I didn't even say anything about the lack of English on the menu or the fact that the wait staff smelled like garlic. When I complained about the fact that there were a bunch of snails on my plate, the waiter told me that that's what escargot is...snails. Then I told him that if I wanted snails I would just go to out to my garden and lick it. So we left.

Another time, I ordered this stuff called "sweetbreads", and guess what? They weren't sweet at all! They weren't even bready. I couldn't understand why they would mislead me like that. I was polite to the staff and didn't even gripe about the crappy table they gave us. I mean how lazy can a restaurant be that they can't even take the time to double check the stuff on the menu? When I complained about the sweetbreads not being sweet or bready, the waiter told me that sweetbreads are actually the thymus, pancreas and parotid glands of calves and/or lambs. So I told him that if I wanted the thymus, pancreas and parotid glands of calves and/or lambs I would just go home and kill a calf or a lamb, stick my head in its guts and start chowing. So we left.

     Yum             Not at all Yum

Then there was this other time, Lester and I were down in Mexico doing a run of gigs at this club, and I look at the shelves behind the bar and what do I see? I see that some of the bottles of tequila have worms in them. WORMS! I mean how busy can a bar be that they don't have the time to check the quality of the booze before serving it? Why would you have such a disregard for hygiene? When I complained about the worms in the tequila, the bartender told me that that's called "Agave"...a special tequila with the worm from the agave plant thrown in the bottle. I told him that if I wanted worms in my tequila I would just go outside, dig up a worm and put it in my tequila. So we left.

Yeah I'm gonna drink this.

So NAGOTE you are not alone in your dining fears. Personally I find it shocking that some restaurants can engage in practices such as this and still stay in business.  To be safe, your best bet is to just eat at home. But if that's not an option, and you're forced to gamble with your health, play it safe and order a hamburger. At least you know what you're getting.

Who knows what goes on back there

 

Thanks for the letter!-Al Dente